What does Mother’s Day mean to a former foster youth?

Lacy, a former Foster Youth Intern, shares what Mother’s Day means to her this year as she is in the process of being adopted at 27 years old.

In thinking about Mother’s Day, and in finalizing my adoption with my long time parents, I was asked about what Mother’s Day means to me this year, and to me that means thinking about what has changed since getting closer to finalizing the adoption.

To be honest, I’m not sure that much about the relationship has changed – my adoptive mother has always been there, been available when I needed to talk to someone about life and what that bring, and has always had an open door for me to go through when needed.  I do think, however, that my willingness to accept these things from her has changed dramatically over the years. Despite me leaving their home upon turning 18 to attend college, and going through years where I didn’t think I needed parents (because I knew everything I needed to know at 18, right? ) there availability and being there has been unwavering.

Lacy and her mom

Over time, seeing that consistency, has allowed me to trust that consistency a little more every time I needed it. So despite the times that I thought I was completely alone, and that I had no one, the truth is the relationship and security I so desperately sought was always there – it was a matter of me being open to it. In regards to Mother’s Day, I feel that I am still learning what a mother is, more importantly what a mother role looks like in my life, but because of the solidification that adoption brings, and the consistency that my adoptive parents have brought to my life, I have no doubt that whatever I think a mother is to me, I know that she will be there.

Happy Mother’s Day!!

–Lacy Kendrick Burk